I would like to state for the record that my intentions are true. As for paving a path to hell, well, some days I feel like I’m already there. Or, as I just wrote to a good friend of mine, “I’m still making lemonade, but lately it tastes like it needs more sugar.”
What do I mean by this, you may ask. Well, I’ve been given a lot of lemons in my life. Some of them I suppose I invited (getting involved with negative people, for example), while others were thrust upon me (decided a career in journalism was a good idea). I have written a number of e-books that talk about the powers of positive thinking. While I do not disagree with what I’ve written, I have to say that perspective is something that can be hard to maintain. By its definition, it will change depending on your viewpoint. For example, when people say, “Just think about how much worse others have it,” my response is, “Why do I have to compare myself to people living in the third world that don’t have fresh water? Why can’t I compare myself to the guy partying on the yacht outside my window who hasn’t worked an honest day in his life and feels just fine?”
From my perspective, making lemonade out of those lemons is pretty much as good as it gets. Some people say I’m a pessimist. I would say a difficult life has made me very pragmatic. I have no illusions other than the ones I set down in fiction. My novels swim and then flounder because inevitably reality rears its pernicious head and I find myself writing more like Cormac McCarthy than Carson McCullers. When your own stories start to depress you, it’s time to move on!
My goal for today is to make some serious headway on a new e-book. I’ve been working at it, but it’s another one of those “put your mind to it and you can get it done” types. At the end of the piece, I’ll have a few hundred dollars in my pocket but I’ll still be here. Perspective isn’t changing.